Thursday, September 29, 2011

Let's play "WHAT'S IN YOUR POCKETS?!!??"




Thursdays during the middle of the day can be a little slow, so to entertain myself, I asked four lucky customers "HEY! WHAT'S IN YOUR POCKETS?!?!?!?" and then I analyze the contents and judge them.

customer #1:
-key ring with 5 keys, four of them with colored plastic thingies
-lighter, yellow
-cellphone, I-phone
-one pack of American Spirit cigarettes, color, blue
-wallet (brown, leather)
-one quarter, two dimes and four pennies


assessment:
this is an easy one; total.... psycho...... killer, look under his house, I bet there are at least 5 dead bodies with their heads and fingers chopped off.

customer #2
-one handkerchief, red
-one porcelain elephant head, red
-three rabbit feet, all red
-five gummy bears, red
-fifteen game pieces from the board game "sorry," red
-three rubber bands, red
-one key, painted red
-four teeth, also painted red
-one 1"x1"x1" box, red, contents unknown
-twenty-three one dollar bills, dyed red


assessment: I assume he's very superstitious. I asked if his favorite color was red, he laughed and said, "no, but you know, a lot of people think that, I actually likes the color yellow, but a really soft creme kind of yellow like the color of the moon on a really humid night, that's the color of I had my dinning room painted this summer and it really looks so beautiful in the fall light, it's vibrant around 4 o'clock." Then he told me he was born on another planet, he said he couldn't pronounce it's name in any earthly tongue because it would cause human ears to explode, and he came here when he was fifteen earth years old. On his planet the color red is yellow there's a shortage of good music and all of his siblings would tease him when he was young that he was gay. He said that his planet was invaded by aliens that looked like really cute lobsters, they massacred most of his people and most of his...well I kind of zoned out after that, but it seemed really interesting.
I love find out new things about people.

customer #3
this customer wasn't really a customer, because he didn't buy anything.

nothing, nothing in their pockets, not even lint.

oh wait, I just imagined this one, there is no customer# 3

customer #4:no pockets, I asked if we could take a look in her purse, she said no, I grabbed her bag, it was heavy, I dumped it on the floor.
-one make-up bag, lipstick, eye stuff, face stuff, eyelash stuff, orange bottle of "medication," razor blades ("for sharpening eyebrow pencil",)
-one 12' high tension rope ("for rock climbing class")
-latex gloves ("to clean up after my doggy")
-empty vile labeled "tears of lover" ("ha ha, you know, it's a joke")
-empty vile labeled "blood of lover" ("now look, just, stop it.")
-video camera
-one sheet of paper with the words barely legible: "WE WILL ALWAYS BE TOGETHER"
-four bottles of lighter fluid and matches("it's for a bbq, ok, stop writing that down")
-passport (whoa, really bad photo)
-$10,000 in pesos (eh, that's pretty normal)
-wig, blonde, short cut (she's already blonde and short, why would you need wig?)
-extra dark sunglasses
-tan trench coat


assessment: clearly, this lady knows how to party, I tried to invite myself to what I can only assume is going to be one hell of shindig, she grabbed her things and forgot to pay for her ice nonfat triple latte with a shot of sugar-free vanilla, I'll remind her next time.

Monday, September 26, 2011

NEW RELEASES SEPTEMBER 27th

L'Amour Fou

documentary on the relationship between fashion designer Yves Saint-Laurent and his lover, Pierre Berge. 

HUNG season 2
A former high school sports legend turned middle-aged high school basketball coach finds a way to benefit from his biggest asset. 


The Butcher, the Chef and the sword


A tale of revenge, honor and greed follows a group of misfits that gets involved with a kitchen cleaver made from the top five swords of the martial arts world in this wild and brash action comedy. 

Carlos

The story of Venezuelan revolutionary Ilich Ramírez Sánchez, who founded a worldwide terrorist organization and raided the 1975 OPEC meeting. 

all synopses from IMDB

Sunday, September 25, 2011

ideas

subjects I could write about but don't really feel like it right now:
movies- we have these, yes.
coffee- check, also have these.

subjects I won't write about:  most things.

subjects I can't write about: 
Leading Modernist literary figures in the early 1900's -my brain refuses to remember those books and that class.
The growing debate concerning religious right wing groups/overly concerned parents verses childrens' advocacy groups/medical professionals to institutionalize mandatory HPV testing in California, and other political blah blah blah- don't care, don't care, don't care.
Hockey- don't know anything about that or most sports.
Unilateral nevoid telangiectasia (UNT)- it is fun to say!
Quantum mechanics- I could, but you won't understand it, waves are cool.


subjects I will get in trouble for writing about: boobies and the list of my favorite curse words (it is long and very very funny.)

yes, this post is mostly links to videos I think are funny, shame on you for clicking of "boobies" and expecting to see boobies, shame shame.

Monday, September 19, 2011

WHATS UP FAYES?

BRIDESMAIDS - THE MOVIE is happening this week.
Fayes also carries films that aren't as funny as Bridesmaids.

Stop by and say HI and pick up either a funny movie or not-so funny film. 


Saturday, September 17, 2011

Les Anis de Flavigny

So as many of you may know I just was in France for the past 3 weeks doing an artist residency. In short it was one of the most amazing experiences of my life. I was staying in Noyers sur Serein, where you may recognize from this Duran Duran video.

While I was there I met a woman whose sister works at Tartine, talk about small world. The are center is called La Porte Peinte and my work will remain there until about Thanksgiving.

On one of our last days we traveled to Flavigny, where they are known for their mints and a co-op that makes these AMAZING tarts. Also the town is known for being the location of "Chocolat".

Monday, September 12, 2011

LOADS of great new movies and TV shows released this week for your viewing pleasure!


Conan O'Brien Can't Stop

A documentary on Conan O'Brien's comedy tour of the U.S. and Canada after leaving his post at "The Tonight Show" and severing his relationship with NBC.  













Wishful Drinking

Based on Carrie Fisher's successful memoir, this HBO special (which received two Emmy nods) chronicles her return from the brink of alcoholism and her campaign of blunt, yes-this-effing-hurts self-improvement.
















Meek's Cutoff
A wagon team of three families has hired the mountain man Stephen Meek to guide them over the Cascade Mountains. Claiming to know a short cut, Meek leads the group on an unmarked path across the high plain desert, only to become lost in the dry rock and sage. 


It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia,  Season 6












Hesher

Hesher (Joseph Gordon-Levitt) a 20 something loser, invades the life of an awkward 13 year old boy who lives with his pill-popping father and grandmother. When a supermarket worker (Natalie Portman) saves the kid from a bully, he falls in love with her.















Glee, Season 2, Volume 1


















  

 Grey's Anatomy, Season 6 


















 

Spartacus: Blood and Sand, Season 2















Incendies

A 2010 Quebec film written and directed by Denis Villeneuve. Adapted from Wajdi Mouawad's play, Scorched, Incendies follows the journey of two siblings as they attempt to unravel the mystery of their mother's life.















Thor

  The epic adventure Thor spans the Marvel Universe from present day Earth to the mystical realm of Asgard. At the center of the story is The Mighty Thor, a powerful but arrogant warrior whose reckless actions reignite an ancient war. As a result, Thor is banished to Earth where he is forced to live among humans. When the most dangerous villain of his world sends its darkest forces to invade Earth, Thor learns what it takes to be a true hero.

Sunday, September 11, 2011

STEELY DAN is pretty great, so what is the problem?

Are you down with THE DAN?

A lot of music passes through Fayes Video. Today, its been 60% Steely Dan.


Monday, September 5, 2011

ITS EASY, RIGHT?

VIDEO STORES:  
We rent movies, you watch movies. Easy.
You walk down the street, come in, look at titles and artwork and ask questions.
You leave with a movie. You watch it. You bring it back in a few days.
Easy:
We would love it if things stayed Easy.
Come see us, see about a film, see what your neighbors are up to.
FRIENDS:
 



Saturday, September 3, 2011

"The Big Lebowski" ... Then and Now!

Jeff Bridges and John Goodman in the 1998 Coen brothers comedy
Bridges and Goodman attend Lebowski Fest NY at The Hammerstein Ballroom on Tuesday, Aug. 16, 2011 in New York.

How the time has flown... Jeff Bridges has an Oscar now! And John Goodman was in 10 episodes of Treme!


Thursday, September 1, 2011

VHS* SALE $2 all month long!



*If you are too young to know what VHS is, it's a black plastic thingy with tape in it. It's about an inch in height, 5 inches in length and 3 inches in width. you put it into a VHS player. You are going to want to look at the tape to make sure the tape inside it was re-wound so that you can watch the movie from the beginning. If the tape is all the way wound to the left, it's at the beginning. You may have to rewind it, using the reverse function on the Video Home System Cassette player. 
The tape inside the Video Home System Cassette is magnetized. and there are crystals in the Video Home System cassette player that read the information on the tape, if you break the crystals in the VHS Player it will leak out black sparkly goop; that is concentrated evil, if you touch it your evil twin will appear and try to kill you and take over your life, you have to find a mirror, and  show it itself, if you do not do this quickly your evil twin will also open a portal and let in all the evil twins in the evil world and you are going to feel really bad and have no friends.
So, Video Home System Cassette are really quite magical when you think about it. But don't think about it it too much. In fact, stop thinking about it, you're too young to bother with analog recordings. go listen to your IPOD and explain how that works.